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    A podcast listener named Nathan writes in to ask: A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives, but if her husband dies she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

    So a Christian is not free to marry outside the Lord. Or 2 Corinthians 6: Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. So biblically the bottom line for the follower of Christ is: Will you marry only a believer.

    And what saddens me, Tony, is how many believers get so entangled emotionally with unbelievers that they either throw away their convictions or they stand on their head to see the other person as a believer when he is not.

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    So let me make it a little more precise. A mature believer will want his or her spouse not just to profess some kind of creed or be willing to go to church. What they will want is not just a marriage that is minimally Christian, but a Christian marriage. And a Christian marriage is described in Ephesians five like this. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church. And husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for her.

    Love as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for her. Both husband and wife are engaged in constant self denial as they live out the beauty of the Christian marriage. Jesus said no one can be his disciple unless they take up their cross and follow him. The Christian man or woman who wants to marry a follower of Jesus must look for a spouse who has learned what it is to die to self in allegiance to Jesus. Now back to the Internet.

    You are circling around. If you know what you are looking for the way I have tried to describe it, I would think you could rule out a lot of losers by using the Internet.

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    Then, if contact happens there are great questions to ask. And I wrote 50 of them down. I think it is at the Desiring God website, 50 questions that couples should ask. And they can be asked, you know, on the internet before you even meet the kind of things that really reveal what people are committed to. I am fine with meeting someone online and learning as much as possible about them.

    I have met numerous couples recently who said they met online and they are happily married. They are both mature Christians. I have got zero problem with that. The great question is: Are you mature enough to discern a worthy spouse? Put your energies into becoming that kind of person. John Piper JohnPiper is founder and teacher of desiringGod. He is author of more than 50 booksincluding Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonistand most recently Expository Exultation: Christian Preaching as Worship.
    Should a Christian use a dating service to find a spouse?

    In the Bible times, dating did not exist in the same form that we see it today. Today, while familial involvement is still the norm in many cultures, in many others, singles are more on their own to find a mate. There should be a balance, as we remember that God is perfectly loving Ephesians 3: God uses our choices, other people, and sometimes even modern technology, to bring about marriages. Is it possible we are being too picky, looking for the fairy-tale prince or princess, and by doing so, limiting the possibilities of what God may know is best for us and which we have not yet considered?

    Are we not being picky enough, forgetting that God calls all Christians to marry only other Christians 2 Corinthians 6: A Christian man should take the lead in relationships and making sure their relationship glorifies Christ in all things. A Christian woman should let the man take the initiative as the leader God made him to be. And, finally, as believers, we should be able to stand on our own two feet, relying on the Lord to fulfill us rather than feeling a need to be married in order to be whole.

    Once we have these common struggles sorted out, we can begin to pursue a woman, or be pursued by a man, with an eye towards marriage.

    As in all decisions, we should ask God to direct us clearly. It can be difficult to meet single Christian men and women, especially if most of our friends have already married.

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    We can put ourselves in a position to meet other Christians by looking for a church singles group. We may want to volunteer for a cause we care about or join other groups, being sure that we are doing it because we enjoy it, not just because we want to meet as many potential mates as possible.

    Some people prefer to meet their spouse through friends, family, or in a chance meeting out in the world, and many do just that. But others believe they are limited in the people they meet because of their profession, the size of their city, or the nature of their activities. For these people, it may be wise to consider other methods. Some of the modern methods of finding a mate include internet or online dating, professional matchmaking services, and speed dating.

    Each has its pros and cons, and none is right for everyone. Before beginning any of these methods, we should begin in prayer, asking God whether it is the step He wants us to take. Internet dating is currently the most popular alternative way to meet singles. There are several Christian dating services as well as secular services that allow users to limit their searches to Christians.

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    Please note that Got Questions Ministries does not endorse any particular Christian or secular dating service site. The result of a deception can be humorous, but it may also be deadly. Some of these people are trying to con the men and women they meet. Be careful about any personal details you share via online communication. It is also wise to meet the person face-to-face before becoming too emotionally intimate via email communication.

    When you do meet for the first time, do so in a public place—never allow them to drive you anywhere or take you somewhere where you will be alone. Listen to your instincts and get away fast if you ever feel you are in any danger. Warnings aside, though, many happy Christian marriages have come out of internet dating.

    They can also be more expensive, usually involve more extensive applications, and require some type of background check. But, if done safely and wisely, professional matchmaking can potentially lead to a successful Christian marriage. Speed dating is where singles circulate systematically through a room of tables in order to assess a potential date in only a few minutes per rotation.

    At the end of the night, they turn in a card that indicates with whom they would be willing to be matched up. Again, if done safely and wisely, this can potentially lead to a successful Christian marriage. Seek God and He will fulfill or change your desires Psalm Would we want it any other way?

    Look at the story of Isaac and Rebekah and how God brought them together Genesis It was sovereignly planned and controlled by God. God holds our every moment in His hands Psalm He cradles our lives and our hearts in His hands, and He will not forget His children.

    If God has intended marriage for you, He will bring it to fruition and will be faithful to guide you in your role in bringing it about. In the meantime, seek God in what He has for you now. God has a purpose for each of us, single or married, and it is a shame to miss living His purpose fully for you in whatever season you are in by becoming too focused on whatever season He has in store for you next.

    If not, move on.

    We right very carefully to fall with other sites. Users from predators in Austria bring from Dried to Actually Marriage. The geld of members that are online personals it very interested to direct with anyone.

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    1. Give me the panties, and no one gets hurt! (When I say hurt, I meen shot in the face with my pump action baby cannon!)

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